Its funny how things affect you ...

Last week or two have been wierd …majorly because of a series I have been watching… actually its more about two characters named Lucas and Peyton, from one tree hill. I have seen like 5 seasons in span of 12 days. Its not that I haven’t done this before … saw 2 seasons of Prison Break during a weekend, saw 3 seasons of LOST during my 2nd year compres … span of 15 days… 1 season of heroes in 2 days and so is for a few more series!

But … dunno why … one tree hill & more so .. peyton and lucas have left an impression.

Since, its about highschool … love… dreams …about life after you jump out from your safety jacket of family/parents … into the real world, to make your own mark. At the crossroads, when you would be saying goodbyes to a lot of people, whom you have shared a lot more than just a room, a wing, a degree, a cheeseburger at sky, sam chat… discussions and arguments, fights and success too … and there are a lot many new people out there waiting for you to let them in and befriend.

This series, struck a chord and it sounded so rhythmic … I just felt like not letting this thing go off. It jolted me back to my schooldays…

…back then when you were sweet and innocent, had a classmate sis whom you used to tickle a lot and have good fun, a close friend whose pants you pulled down in public, about the many shirts which had torn off during the so called “rugby games” ( they were more like fights), when you used to mumble softly the kishore kumar melodies you loved and how the gal sitting next to you mistook it to be you hitting on her and complained it to principal ! About just having a wadapav down the corner, or having a gola/ pepsicola from the one rupee you had saved somehow/ stolen from the drawer…or running down the hallway to watch a cricket match with your dad. About having petty fights with your lil sister… always trying to make her cry … but being there always for her … forever. About winning the kabbadi matches for your class, and getting out just after hitting a six in the semifinals of the school cricket match tournament. About your mom actually beating you up ( with a bamboo stick )for losing 5 marks in the Math exam… and how your dad asked you to calculate the speed/ distance left et al on the road trips in your maruti 800 car !About so many cute gals you liked but never spoke to … not because you dint have the guts … but because you weren’t …. well .. dunno why ?! About the fight you had with a police constable.. for being just too arrogant …running away and then going back in the fight to own your mistake and save your friends, going to military camp, treks in the sahyadris, breaking windows while playing cricket with same school friends.About celebrating ganesh chaturthi, gokul ashthami, holi, christmas etc. with family and your friends families. About you being in a small town, where you knew almost everyone and almost everyone knowing you to the extent when you got out on the street … you would inevitably smile at some known face but although you dont know his/her name. About how, back then things that usually mattered were so simple and easy to solve and accomplish. And lastly about always …always dreaming to be/ do something BIG. Dint know what :)

Things changed ! You changed … people too changed …

Back then you found friends just by acquaintance, getting to know the person … not because s/he goes to all classes and will give you notes, not because hes also doing electronics/chemical eng., not because he/she is good-looking, not because you will benefit by any means out of it.

When in college,how it was all about getting through IIT JEE and you made friends with all those ppl whom you thought were destined toget through and be with them …but hey… not denying the fact that … you met some really wonderful and great pals and are still great friends… but the intentions werent supposed to be like that. and thats the reason … why I dont have any cherishable memories of this phase of my life… except getting felicitated at myriad gatherings for my 10std exploits ( I could never tell this to them … I owed it to my friends and teachers … mom n dad ).

BITS Pilani has been an experience in itself. People at pilani are so special (why? … will write a couple of posts later … from the experience I have had at IIT kanpur where am interning currently for this summer)… or for sure become special by the time they pass out. CEL … yep changed me drastically, but never thought that any media source … like the zillions of series and movies and songs would affect me and my likes/dislikes so much. This period was marked by how you went about getting the guts to start flirting with a gal, liking her, asking her ! … about telling sumone that you had a crush on her… about standing up to your dreams and wanting to go against the tide … when you convinced your mom that research wasnt meant for you, and how you were cut out for something else … rediscovering yourself… about your pathetic performances in tests after tests… about growing up…about being sorry for a few choices you made and think you shouldn’t had ever done… about resisting yourself from smoking and drinking… about making caffeine your daily dose at ANC 1am a habit, about a couple of cute gals whom you wouldnt even speak with … just because your funda told you … its not worth … because it wouldn’t be special … blah.. or something like that !

Most importantly !

It was about letting your gaurd down and let a couple of friends in… to the inner you. There were 4-5 friends, with whom I shared a lot more than a bed ! haha ( though … sadly all were guys). Seriously !?… I am very happy I met these friends, to whom I have told everything about how I feel about the most important people and most important things in my life. And this is where … Payton and Lucas come into the picture … and even other characters in one tree hill. I simply adore the role played by her … to the extent I actually fell in love with it… been weird. Its how I have always been … putting up a joker like face always for all those people whom I care about to some extent … because a small giggle here and there … makes it really worht it. But, when you open out to someone completely … and moan about all bad things ever hppened to you and how you are at crossraods always and how tough it is et al…then it means … that person means a lot to you… sincerely ! Because … now you too expect him/her to care about you. BUT… you are afraid of only one thing … that they wouldn’t leave  !

But then …. things change … people change … and YOU change ! Its inevitable …

Sometime ago … had said this to one close friend of mine … “Keep it Simple” ! Its tough dude … things involving emotions/ heart/ love/dreams are beyond logic and shouldn’t be ever … ever measured by logic… right or wrong … all such things shouldnt be judged !

Its funny … how one tree hill… just took me back to all this … while I was lying on the bed in my hotel room and just couldn’t sleep …

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Those Small Things ...

Small things …

Those heated Anc discussions, the arguments at Ganga, chai sessions at Nutan, Watching movies, GD lachha birdwatching (supposedly) sessions and the under the statue psenti talks …

you would have noticed … these topics have been appearing again and again and yet again in all my posts ! That’s beacause my life @ BITS has been HUGELY infuenced be them. They have changed the way I speak, walk, dress, my choice… taste !

The weird part is … for every change I have noticed there has been a tipping point. And how I knew that it was the tipping point … it was the people around me … their reactions. It went through the distinct change and everything was so smooth … no one else noticed it except those who haven’t seen me for long ! They (My mom, sister , her , and friends back home) all noticed the CHANGE.

Things used to be different. Losing a single mark in an exam used to be viewed by me as a terrible blunder, the dream was to be a research scientist, girls were to be treated as sisters (haha !), cricket and video games(Mario Bros./ Tennis/ Contra … remember??) were the passions that consumed most time of the day … while Dexter, Johny Quest, Tom & Jerry, Alif Laila(remember this??!!) took away the rest.

NOW …

its Global warming, the charisma of Steve Jobs, MattDeamon’s/ Jolie’s/Anthony Hopkins/ Freeman’s new movie, Nano-drugs, Starting up, balance sheets and finances… networking, emails … counter stike, coldplay, Eva Mendes’ cute butt… thoughts on LIFE?!?

…breaking off from the curve … the normal mean curve …. desperate attempts at being different !

MAN … haven’t I changed !? … and all along as and when I noticed the change one question I have always asked myself …. Is it for the good ? … the only reply I always get …

Go on … Experiment !

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The curves ... could have as well put as iCurves !

Its weird and astonishing too to look back and notice the curves through which I have been through. The very aim of my life has been changing radically at such a remarkable rate and with every change I feel that I took a more mature decision and notice a more satisfying and happier feeling !

It might be, I guess, because I feel increasingly independent and responsible with every decision I take. This realisation has come in very recent past because of the decisions I took at CEL and about that one(;-)).

BITS has been an ethereal experience !

I remember, my dad giving me my first glimpses of a campus life… when we had visited NIT Suratkal ( it included - the secret hangout spots, the beach walks, their hostel life et al) I got a different high out of just listening to all that. Also, had visited the BITS campus before taking admission( around Mid-July) … it was the most horrifying experience ! Temperatures nearing 50C, raapchic roads leading to the campus, and absolute nil attendance ! But still, the mere feeling of being on campus … all by myself … somehow defeated all those negatives which had blinded my parents … who preferred me going to UICT, Mumbai.

It began pretty well at Pilani. After all those hyped-up interactions of Departments and Clubs … was very happy to be part of CEL … don’t know why ( never knew that it would take centre stage in shaping my FUNDA’s) !?! Back then … I wanted ( rather I knew) to be gaja ghotu, and go for an MS and then a PhD… WOW … wasnt that a good baccha like ? But …

There has always been a BUT

Pilani …definitely has something in it, just being here changed eveything ! It teaches you to learn everything by yourself. Till then, I used to just blindly follow the advice my parents gave … and I am so grateful I did that ! But, this was very much needed as well. I was at crossraods, and Pilani gave me a platform where I could experiment … with things more important than LED’s, chips and chemicals.

Never had I been such a game freak, never before had I watched soooooooo many Movies, never before did I have those mind boggling laccha sessions at CEL, never had I sweared before so much … nor ………….. ! But, everything has added up, has given me something which I know would be useful someday … and it has cost me a lot lot …. a lot of things ! It has for sure shaped my personality … or so …

Have been trying to question it out with my mom … these last few days … that what ever I have gained has been worth it!!! That going ahead with Vita Peracta is the right choice. It been tough convincing her, someone who had dreamt so much for me, about my MS and PhD et al… but yes… its happening … no not the MS .. but me convincing her!

Its been truly magnificent …. trips to pahadi, khetri … gaumukh, rishikesh rafting, the campus walks with Abhi and amruth, the under statue talks with Krishna and JB, the gay-like feelings and cries, being a spec to “the” sessions (planning to join sometime soon) with the wing, (supposedly)bird watching@ Pilani, NFS and CS, conceptualizing my own FUNDA’s and some Acads too!

I realised … that I have always been running after things… that make my heart pump harder and makes the adrenaline rush through my veins a bit quicker ! Yesterday it used to be Acads… today its starting up ! But … in the middle of all that there is also one thing I have been running after seeking for peace … her:) !

Its nice !

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iFirst

Never had I thought that even I would get bitten by the Blog/Tumblr bug. Though its mainly because of her, CEL, and the Hostel Life @ BITS Pilani that has influenced me to put up my iFirst post … to be viewed openly by all you busy people creating value on the net !

Haha !

However, the credit for triggering this drastic measure goes to, my changed opinion on Gtalk status msg., which is usually filled with random crap said by some Englishman … and it lends a weird sense of pride for the guy/gal who has put it up … saying ” hey ! even I know to google for famous ‘s-word’ lines and showoff my stupidity”

So, I began to put up my status msg. which involved a sarcasm / pun… although even those were said by some random Greek/ irish/Swiss/German ( but not Englishman). And now it dawned … that I was no different !!! :)

From now on … it will just be …

nacool and The Funda ! … ( look out for the FUNDA )

No more copy paste !

I needed a platform .. and I chose Tumblr.( no particular reason … believe me … its not all that great .. but hey … its different ! and I like it )

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